eternal conflicts of a crazy kid

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 05:04:39 GMT

It's funny how much things can change in a year....

Summer is good, I'm going to NC this week to release turtles and see my loves. Should be FANTASTIC! Boys are still stupid, but I'm thinking I just might take control(?) maybe.

I was excited that some of my friends were leaving and then coming back, that way we would get a break from each other, but that didn't seem to work very well. I am still highly annoyed.

Oh well, this week should be a huge resolution in being away and whatnot (since I haven't left since....xmas?) and before that i spent the summer in NC

Oh man

Thu, 14 May 2009 03:50:11 GMT

Stitch free!

boys are stupid

that is all

OH also, HOLY SHIT I graduate on Sunday...what now?

A question you probably can't answer

Mon, 11 May 2009 00:21:04 GMT

but i'll ask anyway...

Does my dysfunctional immune system cause my wounds to have more scar tissue (because it's partially produced from the immune system) than normal? Am I completely off base? Would my lump of scar tissue in my foot be larger than normal people's?

Yea, it's deep!

by this time in 1 week, i will have graduated from college :)

SCARY!

Mon, 04 May 2009 13:39:01 GMT

So i've never gotten stitches, before yesterday. Long story short, an shell sliced into my foot pretty badly, and now i have 6 stitches, 2 of which i felt (ow). Also, it's on the bottom of my foot, so I can't walk.....which is obnoxious

ugh, my walking restriction is of my own doing, it really hurts to walk, so i'm crutching, but it REALLY hurts to walk. My foot needs to get over the painful stage and heal....

anyone? how long does it take these shindigs to heal? It's actually pretty deep of a cut, they pulled a piece of shell out of my foot that was like a half-inch square. badass!

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 01:34:55 GMT

what am i going to do in a month when all of my friends go different ways? What happens when we're not together anymore? I'm going to be bored out of my mind at home.

Shit

because I should be doing homework, but instead i'm on my balcony

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 17:07:13 GMT

65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked...you know the rules. tag people in this note (including the person who tagged you!) to learn more about people. Also, try to tag people who you've tagged in other notes, sometimes you learn things in new notes that you didn't know before about them.......

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
my body...or if something is especially dirty

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
soon to be black, right now dark blue

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I've been asking myself the same question....i have yet to answer it

4. Do you plan outfits?
maybe? sometimes

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
good, relaxed yet looming stress

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
the chair my feet are on

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I was on a cruise with my friends and an asshole i was involved with was there, and he continuously trying to get with me, despite his gf and their family being there....

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
not yet...i met a lot of people in the wee hours of the morning last night if that counts

9. What are you craving right now?
the beach, just laying there

10. Do you floss?
every other night or so

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
ew...?

12. Are you emotional?
depends...

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
probably not, i've gotten to over 700 before though

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
depends on how fast it's melting...eating ice cream is an art

15. Do you like your hair?
yes, right now it has hairspray, but that'll change soon

16. Do you like yourself?
most of the time

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
probably

18. What are you listening to right now?
Itunes- Moving Out Soundtrack, but it's on shuffle...uptown girl!

19. Are your parents strict?
depends on your definition of strict....not anymore though

20. Would you go sky diving?
um....not sure

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
no

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
i think so?

23. Do you rent movies often?
no, i have roommates, that replaces renting movies

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
i'm outside....the water :)

25. How many countries have you visited?
4?5? somewhere around there

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
yes

27. Ever been on a train?
yep

28. Brown or white eggs?
mmm...eggs

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
yep

30. Do you use chap stick?
burt's bees!

31. Do you own a gun?
no

32. Can you use chop sticks?
sometimes

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
that's a good question, a bunch of people most likely

34. Are you too forgiving?
depends on what they did...most things, yes, some things, no

35. Ever been in love?
nope

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
I don't know...i'm pretty sure they don't either....beth is on duty?

37. Ever have cream puffs?
yes...i don't see the big deal

38. Last time you cried?
that's a good question...ryan's office in march? I think...

39. What was the last question you asked?
Do you think stuff like this is actually useful?

40. Favorite time of the year?
sunny times of the year....or snowstorms

41. Do you have any tattoos?
not yet :)

42. Are you sarcastic?
when i want to be

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
yes, weird

44. Ever walked into a wall?
haha, yes, not lately though

45. Favorite color?
red/blue/silver

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
haha, yes, but not in a vicious way....eventually

47. Is your hair curly?
nope

48. What was the last CD you bought?
ackk....i don't know

49. Do looks matter?
depends on the situation

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I would never date them, I could be their friend probably...a lot depends

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
that's a good question

52. Do you like your life right now?
yes, it's all going to change soon though

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no way dude, that's what the time is for, or just turn the damn thing off

54. Can you handle the truth?
yes, i strongly prefer the truth

55. Do you have good vision?
which eye? haha, not really

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Hate - 1 Dislike...yes a bunch

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
whenever i need to...depends on the day

58. The last person you held hands with?
jason? i think...we were freaking people out

59. What are you wearing?
Relay for Life shirt, jean shorts....yahhh for good weather

60.What is your favorite animal?
sea turtle or dog

61. Where was your default picture taken at?
my apartment, when it wasn't my apartment..haha

62. Can you hula hoop?
i haven't tried in a really long time

63. Do you have a job?
define 'job'

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
food @ publix, mostly cupcake stuff

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
a bunch of times, actually

Weddings

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:03:53 GMT

So my friend Kristen got married in the panhandle of Florida this weekend. Sara, Lia, Amber Beth & I drove up to go. It was fun. I'm really glad I went. More people need to married, weddings are fun.

Also I need a job. Any takers?

And, everyone should marry southern boys, they're awesome.

so mind games?

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:29:19 GMT

So I'm not really up to it to have my mind play games on me and make me dream about my ex, who I haven't seen in weeks. Odd party is that I saw him later on in the day. Irony is not my friend, i hate you, damn irony.

In other news, spring break was awesome, and i didn't do any work. which is now biting me in the ass.

Also, i need a job...preferably with animals....quick, make an offer!

Weekend trip to Panama City! or close to for KRISTEN'S WEDDING!!! So excited!!

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 18:27:49 GMT

Epic love...

it's all too much to live up to.

well that was eventful

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:24:35 GMT

well, I had an eventful trip home. I somehow can't read, and thought my flight left at 1230. Got to the airport at 11:15 or so and had to stand inline until 12 to check in. Turns out my flight left at 12:15, needless to say, I didn't make it. They only booked me on the flight from TPA to BWI, and not the one from BWI to BDL, so I got f-ed off the flight from BWI to BDL, and had to stay overnight in Baltimore. This honestly wasn't that bad, I had a good hotel room, big bathroom, king size bed, flat screen tv, etc. But I was up a 615 this morning to hop the 830 flight to Bradley. My luggage got here before I did. Thrilling. I hate southwest, they consistently have 1 person working for every 15 that need help, and half of their workers are constantly on the phone, but not talking (weird, i know) and they're generally non helpful to people. I dislike them.
Anyway, I'm home now, and no one is home and I haven't been home since last Christmas....yahhh.....
Let's see how many people I can see! Or how lazy I can be :)

caffine & west side story

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 01:04:07 GMT

is it sad that caffeine makes life possible, makes me more awake, aware and productive?

also, i bought west side story on dvd at walmart for $5.....and now i'm watching it. I LOVE IT.

Also, I think for christmas, I want to go to NYC with my mommy and go see a show on broadway, preferably RENT, but whatever :)

I like that present :)

i was boating until like 3 am yesterday, so i didn't wake up until 2 today. ha

i'm not sure how much i really like thanksgiving break, it's required a lot of work of me thus far, and it's not stopping anytime soon, gr

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 04:46:43 GMT

I'm settling in, I'm still not completely happy with everything in my life, but I'm settling in. I like my roommates, my room, stuff. There is still a lot that needs to get done, however, things are moving along.

Also, I want a PUPPY.

Shark Week

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:13:43 GMT

So shark week sucks this year. I have yet to see a shark show on Discovery (granted i've watched morning and afternoon not primetime, but still, it's shark WEEK, not shark nights).
On the up side my family is in Topsail visiting me :)
Back to school Sunday!!

randomly

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 01:31:25 GMT

so last night, i put my hair into a ponytail while sleeping....

girl's gotta have talents

haha

random people

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 03:16:52 GMT

so lately I've been meeting/hanging out with/living with people that need to 'get up a little earlier and wake up before starting the day' and it's having this HORRIBLE rubbing off quality. And not like in a I need to get up earlier to start my day way, but in this horrendous waking up earlier and earlier and hearing people wake up earlier way.
I can get up and be ready to go in 5 minutes, usually less. Over the summer, I eat breakfast, so make that 15, but dear lord, must you wake up at 7 to be to work (which is a 3 min walk) at 8? Seriously people, you're cutting into my sleeping time, which is very important to me!!

NORTH CAROLINA!!!!!!!!

Thu, 22 May 2008 00:00:45 GMT

I have once again returned to the great state of NC for another summer of turtle-ing it up. This time I'm the lead intern (scary) and everyone is starting a week later than last year. Thus I am at the house by myself for a week. Fun eh?
I've already been fed 2 or 3 times and when i got back from the beach today there was a bunch of food on my table. Thrilling!
I'm juggling between rooms because of people being in and out this week, now i think i can finally move into my bed!

I have to clean out the fridge and go to CVS and go grocery shopping...crap...

send me mail!
My Name
Sea Turtle Hospital Intern
PO Box 3034
Topsail Beach, NC 28445

So lately...

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 21:46:21 GMT

I have a lot to get done, but since at work (where i am now) i have mostly neglected work, I have a lot of my ochem lab stuff done. So just the conclusions, spanish homeworks, lab procedure etc for this coming week (aka tomorrow) and i NEED to write the outline of my paper by saturday night. I can then renegade read 4 chapters of chapmans and take a test. Then i can study for my ochem test tuesday and write my paper for thursday (oh god) and once thursday is over I just have to study for all 3 finals and pack and whatnot. Depending on EC-SAR I will also have a oral and a check ride. Thrilling eh?

Tomorrow night the plan is to finish up the coxwain binder so that all i have left is a test. God I hate tests. If I don't take my test this weekend, I'll take it next weekend, I can't let this year go by without taking all the coxwain tests, that might kill me.

Saw my cousin Mark last night for 4 or 5 hours, that was nice, but made me miss my whole family...sad day. We should hang out more.

>3 weeks until TOPSAIL!! and DESIRE'!!!

crap i have to pack all my stuff!!

fear of falling

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:15:25 GMT

so things have been hectic lately....
but mommy comes on tuesday!!! I just have to make sure I can get off of work on wednesday afternoon. :) And than we have ALL day saturday to hang out, i'm SO freaking excited
and THEN my cousin mark is coming to st pete/clearwater for oh like a day, but he's gonna have some free time at night, so i'm either gonna go see him, or he's gonna come see me. AH!! I haven't seen him in FOREVER, it's so exciting

anywho, now that there's a whole bunch boy stuff that may or may not be getting rolling soon (Hurrah the semester is almost over and i'm leaving for the summer, what GREAT timing, whatever) BLAH

i don't know what else to say, i'm gonna go

things are good but hectic

i'm going to NC again this summer heaven!!

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:22:02 GMT

i hope too much, did I ever tell you that?

i want to be on the island....almost less than 1 month

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 05:58:12 GMT

tomorrow's gonna SUCK
and not just because i have 2 different organic chem tests

yep, get who gets a treat tomorrow afternoon!!

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 05:16:18 GMT

sometimes i really really wish i was a normal college student

life would be more fun...

i'm in serious debate of just saying f st croix and call jean and tell her i'm coming....

so

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:48:11 GMT

so school has been crazy busy but it's finally spring break (aka started for everyone last weekend and i worked all weekend and than slept monday, worked tuesday, had a doctor's appointment, and here i sit

i'm still busy but i'm not busy morning noon and night. Saw Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Dina, Uncle Paul & Aunt Helen yesterday, went to St. Pete Beach and i fell asleep and burned. And my family oddly wants in on my romantic life (oh god, now that's a mess) and we just hung out and ate (like all good families) but it was nice to see them, and show them a bit of eckerd.

I have to study, but I just can't do it in the afternoons, so i'll do nothing with beth's cat (that i'm taking care of) for the afternoon and give him some human contact before studying and taking a test tonight, and than begining to study for another test. hurrah, i'm gonna shoot myself.

stupid boys!!!

oh, had a phone interview with NEAq and it was super weird, not the tone, but all the questions and i mean ALL of the questions were about how i deal with people and superiors and people doing the wrong thing at work? not a single question about sea turtles of my experiences. makes me think they have shitty people to work with...hmmmm...
but i did go to walmart today and but canned air and electronics wipes to clean the laptop & tv, as well as blue to glue the back of my phone onto itself.....thrilling

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i want to relax, naptime? mindless tv time? YES

a little story i wrote awhile ago, that i'm kinda in love with

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:07:17 GMT

Like that old pair of jeans you loved, thought you lost, and found at the bottom of the closet, he walked in the door he had left her from 3 years ago. She had only spoken to Derek twice since that night, once yelling and screaming at him, and then finally, quite some time later, a polite conversation about happenings in each other’s lives, a feeble attempt to find the sparks that once flew between them. The attempt had obviously failed. So, on this fateful night, where she waited for her best friend in their favorite bar, he walked in, and she suddenly felt like she was falling.

Chelsea walked in, bundled in a jacket and beanie; she looked like an Abercrombie and Fitch model as she walked in the door. The smile dropped from her face as soon as she saw Derek sitting next to her best friend. He’d broken her forever what seemed like ages ago, but the memories quickly surfaced in her mind. A week of endless tears, darkness and the constant fear of waking up without her best friend sleeping next to her haunted her memory. She never wanted a week like that to happen again, no matter how great a relationship was, the fall out should never be that bad. Anger swelled inside her, but she kept it down, reminding herself that she was now an adult, a professional, someone who waits till they’re behind closed doors to kick a guy’s ass.

He walked out the door, the same way he had exactly 3 years before. Lindsay put all the power she had left in her body towards holding her tears in. She refused to believe that she would ever find anyone better than Derek. He had everything she ever needed, but she could never be what he needed. Once again, he had walked out on her. Her anger boiled but was overcome by the huge falling feeling that never ended. Most people have a crash landing when they fall, Lindsay just kept falling; she refused to crash, always had. The one and only time she ever crashed was exactly 3 years ago, and when you don’t crash often, you crash hard, really really hard. Her eyes welled up, she knew it was coming, and that’s when she was engulfed by a combination of cotton and flesh. She could barely see who had grabbed her, but the sudden tuft of red hair next to her face gave it away and she relaxed. Her body collapsed into his, he supported her, actually picked her up and carried her into the backroom. He put her down on the couch with him, and simply held her while she cried, stoking her hair. She felt so protected and safe right then, she knew this was where she wanted to stay. She stopped crying, lifted her head and kissed him.

Chelsea couldn’t go in the back room even though Kurt had just taken Lindsay back there. Damn cute bartender, he has no idea what he’s dealing with. Kurt had always had an eye for Lindsay, but she was always so guarded and oblivious. Now was not a good time to make a move, she was going to kill Kurt, taking her best friend into the restricted backroom. He had gotten to Lindsay before she could, he was closer. Chelsea had allowed Derek time to talk with Lindsay, and had politely kept herself in a corner with a book, ready to pounce at any moment. Unfortunately, after about an hour of watching, she started to read the magazine in front of her face and got too involved, she had only seen Kurt carry Lindsay away in his arm, her shaking a sure sign she was crying. The 8 different plans on how to get into the back room suddenly ended as she watched Lindsay, actually smiling, walk out of the back room herself, hug Chelsea, and leave.

The door of the bar closed behind her, and as the cold air hit her face, it tingled. The tingle on her lips however, was not from the cold, but remained from the kiss in the backroom. The kiss that held more promise than Derek ever had.

You like it? Think it's good? Is it confusing at all?

so this summer

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 02:47:19 GMT

Ok so here are my current things that i'm working on/have already done:

-Offered lead internship @ Sea Turtle Hospital (aka where i was last summer)
-Already applied to NEAq Rescue & Rehab internship, but from the sounds of the intern that worked there, doesn't sounds like it should trump the lead internship in NC
-Meylan's internship in Panama...he knows i'm interested, although he thought I was going to be in NC for sure again this summer, cleared that up (in progress)
-Just got this guy's e-mail from Jen, he apparently does sea turtle entanglement rescue. There aren't any internships listed for that on the website, he is apparently buddy buddy with Jean and Jen talked to him a bunch and so I e-mailed him to look at the possibilities of going there and doing stuff like that. (just started)
-Nesting internship in St. Croix working on Buck Island and becoming nocturnal and measuring & tagging sea turtles that nest on the island. $35 a week, put up in a hotel, go to the virgin islands for the summer. (in progress)

So whatcha think? Do I need to apply for more? Cuz this is looking pretty OK to me right now. I mean, I'm guaranteed to at least go back to heaven, NC :)

in the wake of yesterday

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 16:30:23 GMT

So yesterday I was given the opportunity to see sea turtle necropsies. (I would have done it over the summer, but we never got the change, we had to work)
Honestly, for some reason, I was expecting there to be one or two turtles and someone going through and slowly explaining about the anatomy, why we think this turtle died, etc etc with a bunch of people standing around watching.
Well, what actually happened was that there were 2 huge tables full of dead sea turtles, all of which had to be necropsied yesterday. In Allen Foley's explaination 'We do this when the freezers get full, sometimes twice a year, sometimes up to 5 times a year'. I'm not gonna lie, I was rather shocked and not quite ready for it. But the worst of it was the smell. I know everyone loves the smell of rotting flesh, but 2 giant piles of dead sea turtles, and often these guys were found dead, so who really knows how longer they decomposed before being put into a freezer.
Anywho, since I was the new kid, I walked around, got forms and helped people who were necropsy-ing and wrote on the forms, while they did the actual work.
I was there from 9AM to about 1230, hour lunch break, 130 until about 630. Yea, working more or less the whole time. I worked mostly with Allen Foley, writing forms for him. The experience has made me learn a lot about sea turtle anatomy, being able to actually see it. The lungs really are RIGHT there and attached to the carapace. But it was cool because I got to see infection in the digestive tract and pnemonia in the lung, and all these cool things that had happened at the hospital.
The weird part, that I think upset me the most was the fact that many of them had similar sizes to those at the hospital. Having been there a week ago, all I could do was think of that one looks like Pumpkin and that one looks like CMAST, and there was actually a mature adult female that we couldn't find a reason for her death. We necropsied her and there was absolutely no reason for her to die. Nothing in her digestive tract, nothing on the outside, nothing wrong with any organs, NOTHING. And she had reproduced before. It just sucks. I supposed I really shouldn't be thinking about how many die and how much that sucks, since they are dying rather often, but it just sucks.
So by last night, I just really wanted to cuddle and didn't have the person I wanted to cuddle with. How sad.
And then I worked from 9-12, which was more or less a joke, but whatever, it was money made. I'm working today from 1-6 for Katy and than I have duty crew. Thrilling.